Over the past two weeks, I have eaten lunch while watching Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. Questionable choice, but this unrealistic form of reality television is entertaining and oddly alleviates the pressure of a frenzied day at IIMA.
In the show, affluent ‘modern’ people – who are often not in India, funnily enough – list out hypocritical demands and struggle to justify their traditional expectations from a life partner. I was amused watching how just about every candidate on the show started off with criteria like being good-natured, kind, and compassionate that soon spiralled into things like ‘should be this tall’ or ‘should have this much hair’ or even ‘should gain the seal of approval from my dog’.
But the show’s highlight, which went on to become prime meme content, was Sima Aunty’s relentless refrain, “Let me tell you right now, you will not get 100%. At max, you will find 60-70% but not more than that”. What a way to immediately lower your client’s expectations and then declare that the outcome purely depends on one’s destiny! If nothing else, Sima Aunty understands how to exceed her client’s expectations; start by making sure they have none.
I was struck by her offhanded approach to more challenging cases where her client was older, divorced or a single parent. Quickly pointing out their ‘flaws’, passing her judgement on what kind of potential suitors they could target and effectively dismissing any of their preferences. Interestingly, it was these clients who would call her a few weeks later to inform her that they had, in fact,. found who they were looking for. We also cannot ignore some of her more pretentious clients who attributed their status of being single to others feeling threatened by their superior qualifications, while we see them turning down the options over skin-deep issues (viewers of the show will know whom I’m talking about). It seemed like they did not have the patience or willingness to put in the effort to make a relationship work. The truth is that if we do not dedicate the time to make things work, they simply will not.
When you think about it, we will all encounter multiple metaphorical Sima Aunties who will make it seem like success is impossible without their intervention or urge us to lower our expectations based on a quick calculation of our positives and negatives. They will ask us to settle for what is easily attainable and cast doubt on our aspirations. Similarly, we also embody those people searching for a match – our vanity and superficiality coming to the surface every now and then. This is not in reference to the quest for a life partner but to any match we seek – getting selected into a certain college or job, choosing our line of work, and figuring out what truly makes us happy. We feel a sense of pressure when we see things working out for others and start chasing things that might not align with our values. The fear of being vulnerable and needing to maintain appearances hinders our pursuit of greater things. It is easy to forget that things are usually tough before they get easy and that making the initial sacrifices is necessary to reach a fulfilling and rewarding outcome.
The time at IIMA also comes with its fair share of these moments. There is a lot going on, from academics, case competitions, and CV preparations, to making new friendships, preparing for internships, and zeroing in on our larger ambitions. It would be great to have a perfect match arranged for us in each of these aspects, but that will not be the case. We need to try repeatedly, and our efforts might not lead to the most desirable outcome. (On a lighter note, take refuge in Sima Aunty’s wise words and conjectural statistics of 60-70% when you go in to see your midterm marks.) It will be easier to embrace our unique path if we do not heed everyone’s opinion and have more faith in the process. Though woven with moments of both success and setback, this journey will ultimately be cherished with endearment and gratitude.
The timing of so many things is out of our control, yet when we reminisce, we see that all those detours and diversions led us to an equally beautiful place, even if it does not exactly mirror our initial expectations.
High on LSD 